lanadelrevupthosefryers:

*mom voice* no sexting at the dinner table honey please

milfoftheyear:

when you see a shoe in the middle of the road and you wonder what is its story

twiistz:

i met a girl with 12 nipples
sounds funny
dozen tit

flyingdinosaur:

the most depressing part of the day is watching as the sky gradually gets darker and knowing that you have done absolutely nothing productive

imsuchafagg0t:

• Girls are so fucking sexy.
• You can’t get pregnant even if you forget to take your pill.
• If you want penetrative sex, you can still get it, but with a really awesome purple penis.
• Boobs go ‘badoing’ and can amuse me for hours.
• When they bite their lip…
• You can both ‘wear the trouser’s’ and not make a guy feel emasculated.
• A girl’s skin is always so soft.
• Again, boobs.
• And also, vaginas.
• And just generally, girls are yummy.

spacelovemelody:

current emotion: i need money